Day 33

Sunday, April 26, 2020. I went home to Charleston to visit my parents that weekend. I woke up and had a wonderful home cooked breakfast! French toast, eggs, bacon – nothing out of the norm. Later, that morning, my stomach started acting funny and I began to feel sick. That was weird because breakfast did not make my stomach act up. I decided to go to the dollar store and get a pregnancy test just for the heck of it. After being told by my OBGYN that it would not be as easy for me to conceive as other women, I had no hopes that the test would come back positive, but I just wanted to see.

I took the test and as expected, only 1 line appeared. I left the test on the sink and went to grab a trash bag to throw the test away. When I returned to the restroom, I picked up the test and low and behold, the second line had appeared. I guess you really should wait the amount of time indicated on the box before you read the results! It was faint but it was there. I had mixed emotions. On one hand, I was excited because I could not believe that I was going to have a child of my own. After being told that I had PCOS and would need fertility medication to conceive and nearing my 30’s, my window of opportunity was closing. On the other hand, my marriage was not in the best place, and no woman wants to be pregnant while going through it with their significant other. I went back to the store and bought 3 more tests just to be sure. And guess what? All three test came back positive!

I sent my husband a picture of the test and he called me afterwards. I could tell he held back his excitement because he was not sure how I felt about it given our circumstance. My husband loves children, he would be the dad to get up early, pack school lunches, and attend PTA meetings. Nonetheless, we were both excited about our unborn child.

Once reality finally set in that God wanted me to be someone’s mother, I started to feel an unexplainable love for my child. I was committed to loving my child and being the best person that I could possibly be for them. I started writing out positive affirmations about my pregnancy and taping them to the back of our bedroom door. I said them out loud every day. I had about 3 different pregnancy tracking apps I used and research our baby’s progress daily. In addition, my husband made sure I rested, ate healthy (for the most part), and that despite our circumstances, I would enjoy my pregnancy! I went online and subscribed to every free baby box you could think of – Walmart, Target, Amazon, and others. I created my registry and even copped a pair of pink booties in hopes that I was having a little girl. Nothing could take my joy! I was ready to embrace this journey to motherhood and on December 31 – according to my tracker, I would get hold the beautiful baby that my husband and I created!

33 days down, 240 more to go!